How to Get Out of Debt
by Miss Manda-Panda Jane
Summary: Once Rukia turned eighteen, she got a big surprise: a five million dollar debt. Since her roomie borrowed money and fled, she has no choice but to pay it herself! After numerous jobs, a stranger offers to pay her debt, but for what? Marriage, of course!
1. Prologue

**Title**: How to Get Out of Debt

**Chapter 1**: Prologue

**Disclaimer**: I don't own, you can't sue. Comprende?

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-Hello?-

Ichigo Kurosaki was a proud man- a very successful one at that. At the age of twenty-two, he was already known as a prestigious business man who was a candidate to inherit one of the biggest companies in Japan, Shinigami Inc.

In a dog-eat-dog world, Ichigo would be the one on top. Women would always fawn over him, and men wanted nothing but to be on his good side. He was always in absolute power; no one could order him around. But if so, why was the said Ichigo Kurosaki running as fast as he could down the sidewalk to his job? Because his boss called him. Yes, even Ichigo had someone who ordered him around, and that man would be Yamamoto Shigekuni- the most powerful man in Japan.

Stupid old man, he thought, Just wait until I take over. You won't be ordering me around again...

Even so, Ichigo continued sprinting until he reached the largest building in sight: Shinigami Inc. With a large huff, he ran furiously towards the nearest elevator that had just decided to close.

"No!" he yelled, as the open space became narrower by the second, "Keep it open, you morons!"

The people in the elevator gave him a dumb stare before the elevator door shut completely. Ichigo banged his hand onto the metal.

"You stupid people! When someone asks you to keep it open, keep it open!" he vented to no one in particular.

"Shut up, Kurosaki. You're making a fool of yourself," another figure said calmly, pressing the up button.

Who the fuck does this guy think he is? He thought.

"Who the fuck do you think you are," he snarling, turning to glare at whoever had enough balls to call him a fool.

His deep brown eyes were met with a wrinkly face and bright white hair.

Shit.

"Y-Yamamoto!" he stammered in surprise.

"Kurosaki."

Ichigo coughed slightly and covered his mouth with his arm.

Cussing at your boss isn't going to help get you a promotion... he thought, still a little flushed.

"You called for me," he asked, hoping the old man would brush his outburst aside.

At this time, the elevator decided to open, allowing Ichigo and Yamamoto to step inside.

"I did," the old man answered, pressing the button to the top floor without sparing the orange-haired business so much as a glance.

A few seconds passed without a word being uttered, and the silence was beginning to get on his nerves.

"You plan on telling me why, old man?" he asked, showing his irritation through his face.

"I do," the old man answered, followed up by silence.

Ichigo was almost sure that there would be a bright red vein pulsating from the top of his forehead.

Patience, he reasoned, You messed up once already, no need to do it again.

Suddenly, a light ding sound was heard as the elevator doors opened. Yamamoto was the first to step out, leaving Ichigo to follow him a few steps behind. Even with his cane, the CEO was fast for someone his age.

Ichigo snorted. Fast.

"Mr. Shigekuni." the old man's secretary greeted.

"Chojiro." he nodded and walked on.

Two men of little words in the morning, Ichigo thought as Yamamoto walked into his office.

Ichigo entered as well, just in time to see the old man sit at his desk. He knew he was to be told the reason of his summons now, if ever. He could feel the tension build up in the room. Even the air seemed to thicken as his boss gave him a long stare.

It's gonna be something big, he told himself.

"Ichigo," Yamamoto started.

Here it comes!

"You'll be scrubbing the employee toilets for a week," he stated bluntly.

WHAT?, he mentally yelled in rage.

"Don't think I had forgotten about your little scene this morning. This will be your punishment," the old man said with a wrinkly, cheeky grin.

Ichigo could only gape. There were thirteen floors in the Shinigami Inc. building. Each floor having two bathrooms with twelve stalls- perhaps some had even more than that!

"B-but-!" he stuttered in protest.

The old man looked at him sharply, "This is your punishment, Kurosaki, and you shall take it if you even hope to qualify as my successor."

That instantly shut Ichigo up.

"Now, back to the reason as to why you've been summoned. I take it you are curious, correct?" he asked.

Ichigo nodded.

Yamamoto laced his fingers as his business aura began to flood the room, "As you know, I plan on retiring soon. Usually, it would be the children of the CEO to inherit the company, but seeing that I have no heirs to pass the company to, I have to pick from one of my employees. I'm sure you think that you are qualified for the position, but it's not only you. Although you are one of my favorite choices, Toshiro Hitsugaya and Aizen Sosuke are also very outstanding candidates."

Toshiro... and Aizen?

Ichigo began to laugh hysterically, pounding his fist on the desk.

"And what, may I ask, would be so funny, Kurosaki?" he asked.

"Ha-haha! Those guys are my competition! The shorty and pansy? This is to good! Bwahahahahahaha!" Ichigo howled, clenching his stomach in his fit of laughter.

"You would be surprised," Yamamoto said briefly before sending a sharp look in Ichigo's direction. "Now shut up and listen."

Ichigo's laughter stopped immediately.

"Since there are three of you to choose from, I am having a difficult time deciding. So I have decided to have a little test. The winner will become the CEO of Shinigami Inc." Yamoto informed the now alert businessman.

"A... test?" Ichigo questioned.

"Yes. Seeing that I have made an agreement with a client, your test will be to make this woman marry you by this exact day next year," he stated.

Ichigo was speechless, but one word rang through his head over, and over again.

"**M-mary?**"


	2. Legal Adult

Title: How to Get Out of Debt

Chapter 1: Legal Adult

Warnings: Major OOC, Alternate Universe, swear words, and mild sexual reference

Disclaimer: This disclaimer does not cover accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized use, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, removal of tag, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom, crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, paintball, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.), but I do not own any of these characters. Have a nice day!

Summary: Once Rukia turned eighteen, she got a big surprise: a five million dollar debt. Since her roomie borrowed money and fled, she has no choice but to pay it herself! After numerous jobs, a stranger offers to pay her debt, but for what? Marriage, of course!

Amanda: Hey, guys! I don't know what you're thinking, but I know what I'm thinking: FINALLY! Yes, here it is, the long awaited chapter 1 of How to Get Out of Debt! I'm sure none of you are even reading this, but if you are, I'm looking for an editor for this story! PM me if interested! Whelp, enjoy!

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~Zzzz~

"The most important decision any of us make is who we marry.  
Yet there are no courses on how to choose a spouse. There's no  
graduate department in spouse selection studies. Institutions of higher  
learning devote more resources to semiotics than love." –David Brooks

-Start-

From the beginning, Rukia knew she was dreaming. Everything was so bright and warm! Little purple clouds simply floated along with an ever-growing amount of Chappies hopping merrily on them.

Random.

But she didn't mind. She found their baby-making adorable. Was this a premonition of sorts that she was destined to have a good day? Of course it was! Who could ever have a bad day after dreaming of Chappy the Bunny and his many bunny babies? Only a heartless bastard could for sure.

So when the young orphan girl had been forcefully awakened from her pleasant dream to some irritating noise, she was fairly disappointed. There were no fluffy purple clouds in reality, nor were there the bunnies she was so fond of. No, when she awoke, she was in the same crusty place she had been living in for the past three years- her apartment.

There was nothing actually special about it- nothing at all. If anything, it was ghetto and downright pathetic. Even in the room she slept in, there were little patches of mold growing in the corners, squeaky floorboards that never shut up, a cold draft that swept through the cracks in the walls, leak stains on the ceiling, and a stench that refused to disappear no matter how many air fresheners she used. Not to mention that her walls weren't soundproofed and the girl next door was a whore. By this time, Rukia was sure any dream would seem like heaven compared to the dump she called a home.

Well, she wasn't really the only one living there.

Rukia actually shared her tiny apartment with her guardian, the alcohol-loving, gambling-obsessed Yoruichi. Now Yoruichi wasn't really a bad guardian. She gave Rukia all the space she wanted and even let her have the only room in the house, but she was as sure as hell not a good one.

Rukia let out a long, sleepy yawn.

Was there any good reason that she was up at…

She looked at her clock.

…Seven in the morning on a weekend?

"Knock, knock!"

…

…

Oh, right… the door.

"Damn," she hissed.

Walking out of her tiny room, she released another yawn. It was way too early for this, at least for her sole day of relaxation.

"I'll kill whoever's at that door," she muttered sourly.

The constant knocking was beginning to get on her nerves, but at least Yoruichi's snores couldn't be heard from the living room.

"No surprise there," she snorted.

If Yoruichi wasn't piss-ass drunk on the couch, she was probably out. Doing what, Rukia never knew, but she was pretty content with not knowing. What was that saying again? Oh, yeah, ignorance is bliss.

"Stupid, irresponsible, lazy, messy, disgusting, impossible hag."

Rukia was obviously not in a good mood. Wasn't she the one who said that only a heartless bastard could have a bad day after dreaming of Chappy?

"If I find out that she was gambling our grocery money with Urahara, I'm going to starve her until she dies and then I'll- DAMN IT! I SAID I WAS COMING!"

With an angry huff, she threw the door open.

"What. The. Hell. Do. You. Want… Urahara?"

Kisuke Urahara was the manager of her depressingly humble apartment complex, and she could say he was doing a damn good job making the place _appear_ decent. Plus he was a bastard. To add to that, he was also Yoruichi's drinking partner and gambling buddy.

"I wouldn't think that one would start the day PMS-ing," he said cheerily.

Bastard. She wanted to slap him.

"Especially on the day she turns into a legal adult," he added quickly, noticing her twitching right hand.

Rukia held her hand back. Legal… adult? What the fuck was he talking about?

'Legal adult, legal adult, legal adult?" the thought ran through her head.

What day was it anyways?

With a defeated sigh, she scratched the back of her head.

"So," she started, "Assuming that you are telling me the truth…"

'For once,' she thought dryly.

"…Then why the hell isn't my supposed _guardian_ the one to tell me this?"

"Your guardian?" he questioned thoughtfully then paused. "Nope. Never heard of her."

Rukia decided to let go of whatever self-control a person could have in the morning at let her hand swing- strategically punching Urahara out the door.

"Cut the shit, you bastard! Where is she?" she huffed angrily, ready to sock him again. "It's not like I don't know what you two do every Tuesday night so unless you want me to _kick your ass_, you better tell me where she is! Now talk."

Urahara sat up from the ground and rubbed his dead. Damn that girl could pack a punch! Deciding to be evasive, he pretended to be thrown into a coughing fit, desperately throwing his hands around his neck. And to try to make it even more believable, he began to flail.

Rukia twitched. What. A. Bastard. Did he really think she would fall for such obvious bullshit? She walked up to his pathetic ass and raised her foot to end his misery.

For a split second, Urahara stopped his flailing and looked at the young woman in disbelief.

'She wouldn't…!' he thought frantically.

But alas, this was Rukia, a woman of wonders and one who refused to take bullshit from anyone. Before he could even blink, she stomped her dainty little foot on what he'd like to call 'mini Urahara.'

"Oh, my- Rauuuughhhgaaaah! SHIT!" he screamed seeing little black patches in his vision.

'There are spots,' he concluded.

There were spots. He was seeing spots! He could see fucking spots!!!

"Damn it, bitch! Stop!!!"

The black haired girl's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"What did you just call me, bastard?" she asked, pressing her foot down even harder.

"Auughhhh! I'm s-sorry! I'm sorry! Uncle! I give! Just… _please_ **STOP**!" he begged.

Rukia relaxed he foot for a second before pressing her foot down harder than before.

"Tell me where she is," she demanded.

Ah, power to the little people. To that, Rukia could have smiled if it were any other day, but today was not like any other day. Main reason being was that she was now a legal adult and her fucking guardian apparently didn't give a rat's ass. Didn't she deserve enough respect to at least have Yoruichi _**GREET**_ her on her fucking first day of adulthood?

"I-I-I don't know!" he rasped.

Why did his throat suddenly feel so dry?

"Bull. Shit." She ground out, putting more pressure into her foot. "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way, Kisuke, but I doubt your in any position to piss me off. So unless you EVER want kids in this lifetime, you better tell me all you know. Got it?"

Urahara nodded furiously. He'd be lucky if his balls were only black and blue by the time she was done. He really should have paid attention to all the warnings Yoruichi gave him, but _of course_ he had to learn the hard way. Manhood saving fact: Never piss of Rukia in the mornings. Apparently that fact applied even more if you ever wanted kids.

She continued letting her cutesy little foot apply a painful amount of pressure onto his dick.

"Talk," she ordered.

"I… I honestly don't know where she is… B-but she leave me a n-note to give to you!" he sputtered at her glaring eyes.

She gave him a long, hard look. Urahara could feel the cold sweat tickling his brow. Was she going to add her other foot? He could barely feel mini Urahara anymore!

To his surprise, she lifted her foot off his aching member and extended a baby hand towards him. Was she offering him a hand? He was as touched as a bastard could get! Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, and Urahara could feel the tears threatening to spill as he raised his hand towards her.

Rukia glared before slapping his hand away. What an idiot…

"The note," she stated, raising the same foot once more.

A look of sheer terror covered the manager's face as he frantically put one protective hand over mini Urahara.

"The note!" he cried, desperately searching through his pockets with his free hand.

Ruikia lowered her foot.

'That's right, bitch,' she thought with a smirk. 'I'm in control.'

With a relieved sigh, Urahara found the little folded paper in his butt pocket. He handed it to the vile woman with an accomplished, but painful smile on his face. Yeah, Rukia was sure he made his mother proud. _Sarcasm_.

She snatched the folded up square from his hands. If Yoruichi just left her this sorry excuse of paper as a birthday card, she would kill her.

"Thud, thud, step, thud, stomp…"

They sure are noisy," Urahara mused as he rubbed his abused member.

Rukia snorted. Well, that was a waste of breath. Of course it was noisy here! They were in an apartment complex for Christ's sake! Some manager he was if he still wasn't used to all the noise of people's everyday lives.

"Oh! Took them long enough! Over here boys!" the blond man called.

Her eyes thinned to dangerous slits. Why the fuck was Urahara calling over the movers?

"What the hell are you doing?" she snarled.

He gave her a surprised look. _Of course_ he would. The bastard.

"Why, Rukia, don't you know your own moving date?" he asked, pausing at her furiously shocked face. "Yoruichi told me you two were moving and left me personally in charge of getting rid of all your shit. Hard work, really."

Silence.

Yep, for once the little orphan girl had nothing to say. Actually, her face was kind of reminding Urahara of a fish out of water.

Her eyes were as wide as dinner plates, her mouth was formed into a large 'O', and her whole face was BRIGHT red. Plus she was babbling. That couldn't be good.

"Ah-ah-n-nu-ugh-th-THAT BITCH!!!" she shrieked while pulling at the roots of her head.

Urahara rubbed his now sore ears along with his numb nuts. What other body part would he have to rub down for her to **.**?

"I think you bust my fucking eardrum!" he cried, not even hearing himself.

Rukia did not give a flying fuck.

"Wh-what the- what the hell do you _MEAN_?" she screamed. "We are not moving out! I don't give a rat's **ASS** what Yoruichi says! We are _**NOT**_ moving!"

The blonde man was digging into his left ear with his pinky, finally finding a good-sized chunk of earwax.

"Can't do nothing about it unless Yoruichi signs those papers again or if you can pay the rent on your own," he sighed.

Rukia was absolutely speechless. If today was supposed to be a goddamn good day, what the hell was all this bullshit about?

"Nothing personal, Rukia, but you're going to need to find a new place."

This bastard… why couldn't he help her!

"J-just lend me a place for a while!" she was almost begging.

How pathetic could she be? Practically begging to that bastard Kisuke? That was not the Rukia way.

"Sorry, but like you said earlier, 'I don't give a rat's **ASS'**, hon."

"B-but… I-I… a-a-," she stuttered.

Rukia couldn't find a new place, and considering how much Urahara disliked her right now, she sure as hell wouldn't be able to afford the rent here! She had no fucking money! Dammit! Why didn't she get a job sooner?! She was going to be a hobo! A fucking hobo! Like one of those that had to find a damn dirty PUBLIC bathroom that never heard of the word clean! Fuck that.

"A-a-a-a… U-Ura-," she couldn't think straight anymore.

He almost felt sorry for her, but this was mini Urahara's vengeance so he didn't give a damn. He chuckled. It looked like the girl was about to have a seizure. She looked even paler than usual. Was she finally realizing that she wasn't the one in control?

Rukia's mind felt white. What that meant? She didn't know or care, but she felt it! White. That was her last thought before she saw black. How fucking original.

Urahara blinked as he saw the small young woman drop to the ground. Apparently she realized her position faster than he thought. Well, time to dispose of the evidence. Body saving fact for tiny orphan bitch: never mess with mini Urahara.

'Yes, indeed,' the bastard thought with a grin as he began to drag the body away.


End file.
